Hello Hunks!
You have no idea how good it feels to be back behind the
keyboard teaching and discussing a topic I love so much.
Thank all of you for giving me the opportunity to share
what I have spent years acquiring and sending me your
success stories, comments and questions!
Today's question is from Jumaat who writes...
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Dear Tanita,
How can I have sex as many times as I
used to have 20 years back? I am 46
years old now, but my desire is the
same.
You have no idea how good it feels to be back behind the
keyboard teaching and discussing a topic I love so much.
Thank all of you for giving me the opportunity to share
what I have spent years acquiring and sending me your
success stories, comments and questions!
Today's question is from Jumaat who writes...
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Dear Tanita,
How can I have sex as many times as I
used to have 20 years back? I am 46
years old now, but my desire is the
same.
Dear Jumaat,
That of course begs the question...
How many times did you have sex when you were twenty?
Sexual skills and capacities differ greatly from one man to
another.
But I will go on the assumption that you had some pretty
good sexual stamina when you were in your twenties.
My first question to you is...
************************************************************
What kind of physical shape are you in?
************************************************************
Sex is a very aerobic activity and for most of us men
nearing our fourth decade and beyond we aren't near as
active as we once were and that my friends does have sexual
consequences.
Now the nature of this post brings me dangerously close to
the medical opinion monster, so before I go any further,
nothing in this reply should be construed as medical
advice.
Before undertaking any suggestions or ideas presented here
one should first consult their medical doctor.
But seriously guys, if you're approaching your late thirties
and your heart beats like a hyperactive jackhammer going up
a flight of stairs, then that's going to have sexual
repercussions.
But issues of physical fitness aside, there are in fact two
very powerful reasons why some older folks can't make love
as long as they used to and believe it or not one of those
issues is an all too familiar concept in many of my postings...
Lack of Sexual Arousal and Proper State Control.
I will talk about the arousal issue first because most men
don't think about it like this.
But what I have learned is that for many older men especially,
being able to continuously make love like they did in their
twenties has a lot to do with how strong a level of arousal
they can keep and maintain.
Generally I find that for older men, especially those who
are very well seasoned sexually, take more stimulation
to achieve the same level of physical
arousal they had in their twenties.
This is especially true in what Jumaat describes; notice he
said his desire is still the same.
Remember the orgasmic equation?
If not, it's high time for you to take the ultimate solution from me before you tell
That of course begs the question...
How many times did you have sex when you were twenty?
Sexual skills and capacities differ greatly from one man to
another.
But I will go on the assumption that you had some pretty
good sexual stamina when you were in your twenties.
My first question to you is...
************************************************************
What kind of physical shape are you in?
************************************************************
Sex is a very aerobic activity and for most of us men
nearing our fourth decade and beyond we aren't near as
active as we once were and that my friends does have sexual
consequences.
Now the nature of this post brings me dangerously close to
the medical opinion monster, so before I go any further,
nothing in this reply should be construed as medical
advice.
Before undertaking any suggestions or ideas presented here
one should first consult their medical doctor.
But seriously guys, if you're approaching your late thirties
and your heart beats like a hyperactive jackhammer going up
a flight of stairs, then that's going to have sexual
repercussions.
But issues of physical fitness aside, there are in fact two
very powerful reasons why some older folks can't make love
as long as they used to and believe it or not one of those
issues is an all too familiar concept in many of my postings...
Lack of Sexual Arousal and Proper State Control.
I will talk about the arousal issue first because most men
don't think about it like this.
But what I have learned is that for many older men especially,
being able to continuously make love like they did in their
twenties has a lot to do with how strong a level of arousal
they can keep and maintain.
Generally I find that for older men, especially those who
are very well seasoned sexually, take more stimulation
to achieve the same level of physical
arousal they had in their twenties.
This is especially true in what Jumaat describes; notice he
said his desire is still the same.
Remember the orgasmic equation?
If not, it's high time for you to take the ultimate solution from me before you tell
sorry i think i need to go, when a woman has not cum!
************************************************************
Desire + Arousal = Orgasm
************************************************************
So one of the first keys to address is to make sure first
that you're in good physical shape and that your partner
knows how to keep you physically aroused and not just
emotionally fired up.
That means older men and women share something in common:
they need more Sexual Arousal in order to perform better.
Now of course there are numerous other reasons for lack of
performance but without being able to physically assess
a person's physical condition, its probably not too prudent
to discuss other approaches
in this format.
So let's talk about the other reason for an inability to
perform at the same level you did while you were younger...
Lack of state control!
Now, when I talk about state control, I am talking about one's emotional/mental state. Lack of state control in this
context usually translates to Hyper-arousal.
Now for those of you paying attention your mind may have
just come to a screeching halt as often happens when
reading my post.
The apparent contradiction probably sounds something like this...
"Wait a minute Tanita, you just said one of the reasons
most guys can't perform is due to a lack of arousal.
Now you're telling me that one of the reasons some guys
can't perform is due to hyper arousal?
Is that what you're trying to tell me?"
Yup...
You see in addition to my background In Acupuncture and
Oriental Medicine.
I am a practicing sex/hypno-therapist.
I do a lot of performance enhancement work.
I work with athletes, business people and even guys who want
to be better at meeting and dating the opposite sex.
I also work with men suffering from "non organic male
impotence"
You see, everyone has a certain level of physical arousal at
which they function at their best.
That level of arousal is unique to each individual and to
each particular activity.
The same level of arousal you need to play hockey or tennis
is different than the level of arousal you need to play
checkers.
So you can think of arousal as being on a continuum that
starts at Zero, which means basically... you are dead and
going all the way up to ten... meaning you are completely
out of control.
Ever see someone completely lose control of themselves
either in fit of rage, blind panic, become a total spastic
or just plain vomit from nerves?
Welcome to the realm of hyper arousal!
Now the required level of arousal is unique to the
particular physical activity your involved in.
Believe it or not unless you are playing tackle for the
Miami Dolphins being at a level 8 or 9 on the arousal scale
is still a bit much for most physical activities...
Sex is a physical activity, but due to various reasons,
usually socialization issues, erroneous beliefs, bad
programming etc.
Most men come in to a sexual encounter way too high on the
arousal scale for their own good.
Can you guess what some of the symptoms of hyper arousal in
a sexual context are... you probably guessed it?
A. Impotence
B. Pre-mature ejaculation
Now like I mentioned earlier this is a huge topic and one
that is far too broad to fit into a small newsletter like
this one. But rest assured guys I have fixes
for these problems too!
Here is a very brief action plan that you
can use if you are suffering from this
kind of problem.
A. See Your Doctor---
Make sure there isn't anything organically wrong with your
plumbing first and foremost.
One of the oldest tests doctors used to use to asses whether
impotency was due to circulatory problems or not was called
the stamp test.
B. Determine whether you seem to fall into the poor physical
fitness category or not.
Get some form of cardiovascular exercise on a regular basis
that is enjoyable for you.
C. Have sex a lot---
I know this sounds kind of funny but here is the deal.
If your suffering from hyper arousal form of lack of
performance you need consistent training and desensitization
and since most men operate from a scarcity mindset the more
sex you have the less rare (and therefore less over-powering)
the desire for it become the result... a decrease in arousal.
D. Practice Taoist Sexual Kung Fu Techniques
- There is one particular technique I like that can be done
alone or with a partner it's called "Peaking" in some books.
This exercise is basically a masturbatory form of sexual
conditioning that eventually leads to men learning how to
have multiple orgasms.
But at this level of the game it's more important for you as
a tool to learn how to last longer in bed and keep your
erection longer and to desensitize yourself, thus taking you
out of hyper arousal.
But if you really want to have maximum arousal for both you
and your partner, you need to check out my special tools to help you.
************************************************************
Desire + Arousal = Orgasm
************************************************************
So one of the first keys to address is to make sure first
that you're in good physical shape and that your partner
knows how to keep you physically aroused and not just
emotionally fired up.
That means older men and women share something in common:
they need more Sexual Arousal in order to perform better.
Now of course there are numerous other reasons for lack of
performance but without being able to physically assess
a person's physical condition, its probably not too prudent
to discuss other approaches
in this format.
So let's talk about the other reason for an inability to
perform at the same level you did while you were younger...
Lack of state control!
Now, when I talk about state control, I am talking about one's emotional/mental state. Lack of state control in this
context usually translates to Hyper-arousal.
Now for those of you paying attention your mind may have
just come to a screeching halt as often happens when
reading my post.
The apparent contradiction probably sounds something like this...
"Wait a minute Tanita, you just said one of the reasons
most guys can't perform is due to a lack of arousal.
Now you're telling me that one of the reasons some guys
can't perform is due to hyper arousal?
Is that what you're trying to tell me?"
Yup...
You see in addition to my background In Acupuncture and
Oriental Medicine.
I am a practicing sex/hypno-therapist.
I do a lot of performance enhancement work.
I work with athletes, business people and even guys who want
to be better at meeting and dating the opposite sex.
I also work with men suffering from "non organic male
impotence"
You see, everyone has a certain level of physical arousal at
which they function at their best.
That level of arousal is unique to each individual and to
each particular activity.
The same level of arousal you need to play hockey or tennis
is different than the level of arousal you need to play
checkers.
So you can think of arousal as being on a continuum that
starts at Zero, which means basically... you are dead and
going all the way up to ten... meaning you are completely
out of control.
Ever see someone completely lose control of themselves
either in fit of rage, blind panic, become a total spastic
or just plain vomit from nerves?
Welcome to the realm of hyper arousal!
Now the required level of arousal is unique to the
particular physical activity your involved in.
Believe it or not unless you are playing tackle for the
Miami Dolphins being at a level 8 or 9 on the arousal scale
is still a bit much for most physical activities...
Sex is a physical activity, but due to various reasons,
usually socialization issues, erroneous beliefs, bad
programming etc.
Most men come in to a sexual encounter way too high on the
arousal scale for their own good.
Can you guess what some of the symptoms of hyper arousal in
a sexual context are... you probably guessed it?
A. Impotence
B. Pre-mature ejaculation
Now like I mentioned earlier this is a huge topic and one
that is far too broad to fit into a small newsletter like
this one. But rest assured guys I have fixes
for these problems too!
Here is a very brief action plan that you
can use if you are suffering from this
kind of problem.
A. See Your Doctor---
Make sure there isn't anything organically wrong with your
plumbing first and foremost.
One of the oldest tests doctors used to use to asses whether
impotency was due to circulatory problems or not was called
the stamp test.
B. Determine whether you seem to fall into the poor physical
fitness category or not.
Get some form of cardiovascular exercise on a regular basis
that is enjoyable for you.
C. Have sex a lot---
I know this sounds kind of funny but here is the deal.
If your suffering from hyper arousal form of lack of
performance you need consistent training and desensitization
and since most men operate from a scarcity mindset the more
sex you have the less rare (and therefore less over-powering)
the desire for it become the result... a decrease in arousal.
D. Practice Taoist Sexual Kung Fu Techniques
- There is one particular technique I like that can be done
alone or with a partner it's called "Peaking" in some books.
This exercise is basically a masturbatory form of sexual
conditioning that eventually leads to men learning how to
have multiple orgasms.
But at this level of the game it's more important for you as
a tool to learn how to last longer in bed and keep your
erection longer and to desensitize yourself, thus taking you
out of hyper arousal.
But if you really want to have maximum arousal for both you
and your partner, you need to check out my special tools to help you.
Will update you guys on that soon.
Caring for your love life,
Tanita A.
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